just sharing my thoughts. as some of you know, i have a very complicated, on-the-rocks, relationship with my husband. and tomorrow is our 8th year anniversary from the day i said yes to him, as bf-gf.
i should be angry because he’s not home on his day off’s. don’t really want to paint a picture of our situation, let’s just say, i’m hurting but i don’t know what else to do. old folks say just wait until he come around. friends say leave go, you don’t deserve to be hurt. my gut said go but are you ready and gives me a thousand list of the things i should face. i’m scared and vulnerable right now.
i don’t think it is a good idea to write this up, but i’m hurting. my daughter is watching disney’s “sleeping beauty” movie. i believe in fairytales, you know. sometimes i think i’m doomed but well, i need and want to dream/think/hope that in the end, everything will be alright.
i want to be angry at my husband. i’m worried, i feel disrespected, used… hurt. but the date tomorrow reminds me of the happy memories, which started on July 29, 2004.
i hate to think that all will go into nothing. i’m hurt but still hoping. i still have the energy to smile to my daughter and say that everything’s gonna be alright but deep inside i feel my heart bleeding. i’m beginning to think that i have the broken-heart disease.
i know i’m needed so i’m not faltering. i know my purpose so i still have hope.
i just wish it was more, in a different and happier circumstance.
to my husband, if this is just a storm, i pray that we could get through it, if not, well, may we be happy.